As I was walking home last night, I noticed a yellow jellybean on the sidewalk. An orange one. Some reds. A trail of jellybeans, strewn along, some stuck in the gaps between brick cobbles. All on my path to home.
I grew suspicious. What if I were walking into a trap!? I felt helpless. Sensible alternate routes were not available: I was nearly home. The rest of the walk was jarring, especially since I knew not to follow candy trails anywhere. This brought up some thoughts:
1) Why a trail, and not, say, an explosion of jellybeans? Assuming a stationary point source, one would expect roughly radial candy-spatter. Perhaps not stationary. Perhaps a jogger, eating jellybeans. This would be most unwise. Subsequent loss of jellybeans would illustrate that one ought not eat while jogging: caution, choking hazard; tragic loss of jellybeans may also occur.
2) It is also possible that the beans were dropped from a stationary source and were subsequently dispersed along the sidewalk by oblivious pedestrians. I would not kick those jellybeans, myself. I would not touch them with a 10 foot pole. *
I am not writing from the basement terrarium of a somerville madman / cat lady, so rest assured that I did not fall into a trap.
* * *
The anecdote brings me to my larger point. I am certain that whoever dropped the jellybeans did not intend to alarm anyone (and, I'll admit, was probably not setting a trap). The circumstance of the jellybeans being on the ground was not significant. The hard cold fact of my fairytale-related paranoia was likewise generally insignificant. But in each other's presence they had life; resonance pushed the system into something altogether unintended. This got me thinking about things that were unintended, but happened anyway.
I did not intend to drive myself crazy with work this semester, but this somehow happened anyway. Again, I propose that this has to do with a superposition of signals: academic circumstance, overly ambitious advisors and my own intrinsic idiocy. What was I thinking? I had a moment last Thursday where I was struck with the silliness of it all: were we really discussing what shape magma lenses might take under mid-ocean ridges? Wouldn't we all be better off learning a trade? The world might thank us to stop being so useless. But then someone said something crazy about helium isotopes, and I was brought back to my old self again. I've decided this episode was a symptom of topical boredom rather than actual crisis of purpose. But still, I need a break.
I did not intend to neglect friends, but this happened anyway. This has to do with the paragraph above. I do not know where January went, or February for that matter. Is it March? Good lord. I'll see you in May, I hope.
This is taking the tone of an apology. I feel guilty. This might have to do with a dream I had last night, in which I did several naughty things for which I should feel guilty, all of which were strange and involved people I know. This must be it. Dear great void: the dream was unintended, and happened anyway. Truly sorry. Moving on.
I'm sure that this is probably not it, but that will have to do for tonight on the vague-persistent-unease front. I'll think about it and get back to the void.
Hope you are all well,
R
* May seem extreme, but I associate stray sweets with the candied house with sugar windows where Hansel und Gretel were trapped, and Hansel nearly eaten, be he fat or lean. Menacing. I paid attention as a child.
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2 comments:
Dear Jellybean observer,
I apologize for the interruption in your evening walk as you came upon the jellybeans I had so carefully planted on the route to my lair. While this apology would be pretty dumb if I still intended to us the jellybeans method, your journal entry is sufficient evidence that my plan has utterly failed.
I do however welcome this opportunity to discuss said plans with an unbiased observer! thank you for noting the evenly spaced beans ---- you pointed out that your suspicions were instantly aroused by the even spacing. An innocent jellybean dropper would have had more sporadic intervals or the large initial grouping, as you say. Point taken.
Your second point about lava and geochemicalphysicalscientific fascination is also very very helpful! Do you have any idea how HARD it is to find lurable people in cambridge? I spend 75% of my gross wages on candy alone --- candy canes in the snow, jellybeans on the street, bulldozers in the library stacks --- either everyone is just too damn fairy tale literate or they lack the essential childlike joy and whim necessary to make them follow a candy trail, wherever and whomever it leads. Where is the delight, the whimsy, the sugar addictions at Harvard? Goddamn the 21st century!
Clearly, from reading your blog, I need a more thoughtful approach. I will now be strewing the street in your neighborhood with precious fossils and rare sedimentary deposits.
Looking forward to meeting/capturing you soon,
- some sort of orge/witch/troll/giant dust bunny
Dear Ogre/Witch/Troll/Giant Dust Bunny,
In my years of intensive research, immersed in the jungles [of books and laundry] of the Jellybean-Observer's natural habitat, I have discovered this:
She is susceptible to spicy Thai food. And wings. And jerky. I suggest you use these to lay a trail of deliciousness to your next trap.
Yours in scheming,
Bean Child of the Forest
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