ieggedyourlexus.blogspot.com

On a sidenote, tonight in the grocery store parking lot I witnessed a display of self-centeredness so gross that I think it merits its own post. The driver of a Lexus RX300 presumed that the rest of the us, we world-weary parking-lot crutlins, would be in such awe of his vehicular majesty that we would move ourselves out of his way as he backed out of his parking spot.

As I was situated perpendicular to this Lexus with no one behind me, this involved putting my car into reverse, in order to avoid the impending slow-motion collision bred from arrogance and idiocy. I kept backing up, and he kept backing out. I gave, he took. And then, a honk. Another car had arrived behind me, a black one, with dim lights, moving forward. Three cars converging, and there I was, caught between one idiot with an ever-inflating head and another idiot, clinging stubbornly to normalcy in the face of frank self-importance and presumption. The latter idiot, though impractical, had it right: this was the way things ought to be. Cars going foward continue to go forward; out-backers, even Lexuses, wait.

This made me mad, mad enough to consider vengeance by egging. What would have happened, I wonder, if I had not caved under Mr. Lexus' pressure? Would he have rammed my car? He might have honked, loudly. He might have had an expensive gun in that fancy car, and might have shot me with an expensive bullet, and that would have been bad.

One thing I've noticed is that when faced with illogical behavior, the nice guy always loses. Historically, this is how idiots have gotten away with being idiots. The rest of us don't know how to react. We get flustered, baffled, confused; we acquiesce before we even think to challenge. At least I did tonight. But really, I don't exactly advocate sticking up for yourself, because you might get shot. Sometimes idiots are strangers, unstable and possibly dangerous. Instead I will content myself with taking a deep breath, swearing profusely, winding up my throwing arm and lobbing that imaginary chicken-egg at every arrogant dumbfucker in a Lexus who thinks to muscle his or her way into my path. The satisfaction will be finite, but you know what? Logic will be on my side.